Monday, November 23, 2009

Baby Got JGL and Thanksgiving Break

Tomorrow, after my french test, Thanksgiving break finally begins.
For some reason, this past week, I've been ridiculously excited for the drive down. I've just been really craving some driving with the music cranked and singing(and rapping) along like the ridiculous white girl that I am. I even made a new car mix that has such gems as Single Ladies by Beyonce, Shots by LMFAO, My Dick by Mickey Avalon, and Sir Mix-A-Lot's Baby Got Back. Although a couple of hours ago a floormate asked for a ride to a nearby town, so I might not be able to fully rock out with my cock out as intended. We'll see. If the traffic's bad, she might just have to endure while I belt "Suckin' on my titties like you wanted me! callin me! All the time like blondie check out my chrissy behind it's fine all of the time!" Yeah. Peaches. Awesome.

Talked to CC briefly today. Now he definitely knows that I'm chill, open for pleasant conversation or whatever. I don't explain this well, but I understand what I mean so =P
This will be the last of talking about him for a while. I hope. Honestly, I'm getting tired of writing about it. But I feel that I need to update on the situation. I know, I don't make sense. The end.

On another note, Joseph Gordon-Levitt hosted SNL this weekend. Overall, I wasn't totally impressed. JGL was amazing, of course, but I feel like SNL didn't use him as much as they should have. Unused potential. However, his opening number was quite magnificent:



Also, the "Mellow Time" skit was hilarious. Andy Samberg as Jack Johnson, Bill Hader as Dave Matthews, JGL as Jason Mraz (spot-on impression!), and Dave Matthews as (modern) Ozzy. Golden!

Mmmm can't wait to see my friends and doggie over the next few days! Thanksgiving probably won't be great, just family and some soldiers that we're hosting, but I'm fine with some forced family-time. Otherwise, I'll probably just be oot and aboot with the loves. Clubbing on Friday! Can't wait, I haven't been clubbing in forever and I miss it. And for the times that I am actually home, I'll be able to catch up on Supernatural on the much-missed DVR.
This week is going to be good.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Magnified Fail

I really don't want to write about this since it shouldn't be a big deal. But I need somewhere to vent since none of my friends are online and my roommate is gone.
Texted CC. Simple question and I received the most simple answer possible.
Now I feel sick.
I'm ridiculous.
I guess I was hoping a lot more than I realized that he would strike up a conversation.
Well, I was very cordial and cheery in my texts so at least he knows that I'm chill with everything, and he can approach me.

Oh and hanging out with that guy never happened. I went to the mall with a floormate last night and she said he'd been hitting on her big time too. So once I got back I really did not feel like dealing with him. Roomie thought of an excellent excuse for me so that I wouldn't have to go. Now, tonight, he wants help with math. Ha. Doubtful. But thats my intention, talk math and if he tries anything I'm just going to lay it all out for him.

Can it just be Tuesday already? I really need some fun with the old friends. It'll be like therapy I guess.
It's not just the boy thats messed me up though, it's my failure at a college social life overall. I think he's just magnified this for me actually.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Shouldn't dwell on the past...

College is really not going as planned.
I thought making friends would be cake, my weekends would fill up, I'd actually make it past the tipsy-level of drunkeness, and I'd be completely happy.
Not at all.
I'm stuck on Friday night again, with plans that I don't even want. I can't wait for Tuesday when I drive home for Thanksgiving break. I never thought I'd want to go home as much as I do. I don't miss my family, well only my dog, I miss my friends. But still. I thought having new friends would out-weigh missing my old friends.
I think another reason I'm so ticked about CC blowing me off (still haven't heard from him since) is because he provided a window into the college life I desired. Friends and fun every night.
Oh, and those plans I don't want? This guy has been flirting with me for the past couple of weeks, but I'm just really not into it. He's not ugly or a jerk or anything, I'm just not feeling it. But I figure some plans are better than no plans, and he invited me to hang out (since his roommate left for break already and he'll be lonely). Maybe this time I'll make it perfectly clear that I'm not going to hook up with him.

Side note, I'm going to text CC soon with some sort of convo starter, just so I can see if he's completely avoiding me. I'm sick of trying to catch him on facebook chat. He's either NEVER on or he's blocked me. Which I doubt because that's extreme, I have done nothing to prompt it. Unless he's just totally insecure with what happened between us. Let's hope not. I feel like everything could be chill between us, still be friends, and not be awkward. But not talking to me doesn't help. I'm hoping he's waiting for me to talk to him, though I hiiiiighly doubt that.
Wow, long side note. Clearly I'm still hung up on what happened. It's just all so aggravating.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Pathetic. Friday. Facebook. Giant. Elmo.

I'm pathetic.
No word from CC since he sent that disappointing lil text. Should I be worried? Not necessarily. But I do it anyway.

It's friday. So far my plans have been to facebook stalk facebook chat, hoping CC logs on so that I can lightly establish contact. In between this I have dinner plans with mom, then picking up the car for the weekend and going to giant to grab some groceries. The end.

Did I mention that I'm pathetic?


Cheer up:

That helps a little.. :)

Monday, November 9, 2009

Oh NOT another boy.

Well fuck my cock.
CC's called it off. He texts me a couple hours after I give him a handjob (first time, otherwise we'd just made out and over-the-clothes stuff) saying that he feels weird taking our "breaks" (called that cause basically each time we'd been tired from the day) without being in a relationship, and that he isn't looking for one. (Could you follow that between all the parentheses?)
Like, I don't know what my brain should do with this.
Right now, I'm just really worried that now he'll never ask to hang out or even acknowledge me if we run into each other. I really don't want to be in that whoa-awkward-lets-never-talk-again funk. He's a great guy and I'd be fine with just friends for now. I really wish we'd talked face to face so I'd get a better explanation.
I had texted back to him that I was fine with it but I thought he was a cool person so I'd like to still hang out but just like..normal. He never texted back. Fuck. Yeah so who knows how this will go.

So after that shitstorm of a text and consequent brain fuckery I had to write a 10 page paper last night. Which ended up keeping me up til.. hmm... now. Yeah, I haven't slept in 24 hours. I just got back from class, handing the paper in, where CC should've been too. But I didn't see him cause he sits somewhere in the back. Plus I didn't want to seek him out to talk after a 9am class and no sleep.

Now I'm lying in bed with the lights off, writing this entry because I know that if I try to sleep I'm just going to be thinking about him and this awkward situation.
Dude, why'd you have to text that to me?! Fuck.

This all makes me sad. I really like(d?) him. But specifically as a person, not necessarily as a crush/potential bf/whatever.
I don't know now if I should approach him (not necessarily in person) or if I should wait for him to approach me. I'll wait for now..but for how long?

Fuck.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Oh another boy.

Oh boy. Oooooh boy. Um, so my last couple of days have been...eventful.
Cut to Thursday. Lunchtime. Roomie and I can't find a seat, surprise surprise, and I spot a floormate eating with a guy thats in one of my classes. Solution. We eat, chat, s'all good.
Cut to Thursday night-ish. Roomie's away and I'm alone waiting for Jeopardy and big ass block of TV to start, so I go to grab food. Hey! It's that guy again! Let's call him CC. We sit and talk and really hit it off. Awesome, a new friend. I end up missing Jeopardy and Bones but we head back to my room to hang out and catch The Office. CC leaves in the middle to do rehearsal and frat shit but we make plans to watch Anchorman later that night.
Cut to later that night. Watching Anchorman on his laptop, on his bed. He starts getting close...we end up moving around to the long-ways side of the bed and end up cuddling. Smooth moves buddy. Movie ends. Then we make out. Yeeeep. More cuddling, trying to sleep, fail, cuddling/makeout who knows anymore. I'm not even going to get into how one of his roommates was still there and that whole scene haha.
I end up leaving at 6:40something in the morning because I couldn't sleep and he had a test in a few hours that I didn't want to distract him even more from.
Cut to lunchtime again. Hey! How was your test? Want to get lunch? Cool. Hey! Let's go back to your dorm and watch a movie again, Day of the Dead this time. Hey! Let's stop the movie and "rest" cause we're tired. Whoops, makeout some more. And let's add some over-the-jeans 2nd base this time too.
Then I ended up leaving around 5:30 because I had planned to meet TRAIN for dinner in DC! Look at me be a playa.

Dinner was nice. It was a little awkward since we hadn't seen each other in a while. But eventually it was great convo again. No smooth moves like CC back there so I think its a just-friends thing. Which is fine with me now, considering the very very recent developments.

Now, it's Saturday and I've been procrastinating a 10-page paper due on Monday ALL DAY. I really think I have a problem with procrastination.
Anyway, haven't talked to CC all day, but of course I keep thinking about him. Thursday night he mentioned a small frat party for tonight and he semi-invited me to it, but I haven't heard anything, obviously. As the night progresses, I'm just dying for a text about it so that we can chill and so I can get away from this fucking paper with a valid reason.
But the real root of the matter is that he told me he doesn't want a relationship, they're too complicated, just want to have fun. Okay...(damn)...but that's fine. He also voluntarily told me that he's a virgin, but has bascially done everything else under the sun. Sooo I told him I was much more of a virgin and never had a boyfriend, but lied a little and implied I've made out some.
I don't know how far I'm going to let this "friends with benefits" thing go on for. He's totally sweet and repeated quite a few times that I should stop him if I was uncomfortable. And I did a couple of times, but thats because, biologically, this isn't a good week for certain activities. Plus, this progressed pretty fast. We've been friends for basically two days. Oh boy.
Ugh. So many thoughts.
Another concern, this can't be exclusive. He could be hooking up with plenty of other people too for all I know. I can't get mad at that, and I can't ask, but it's going to be really hard for me to not get my emotions wrapped up. He's just so fucking nice and cute. Fuck.
For now, I'm going to slowly (or at least try to) let it progress. But eventually I'll probably have to draw the line and be like, I'll go farther if you agree to a relationship because, with how we do this now, I can't completely trust you.

Wow, long post. But this is kind of a big deal for me. Remember my ultra virgin discussion.
I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm awoefh;bv;xuha;oiraewd.

Yay now I can get back to procrastinating my paper...

Monday, November 2, 2009

Procrastination says "You're my bitch"

November is going to be one hell of a month. Not as in yay!busy!exciting!, but as in figuratively literally hell. Assignments keep piling up and, especially, the due dates of my research paper keep creeping closer and closer. Why didn't I pick a more simple topic? I envy my hallmate who chose the debate about spanking. Simple- one side says spanking's good, one side says spanking's bad. The end.
Let me just stop myself from continuing that rant on my paper. It's pointless.

Is it Christmas time yet?

Oh so I already broke my water binge...But only by one drink! I wasn't on campus for once, I was at a Five Guys, and had already bought a regular drink cup. I only got Nestea though, so at least I continued not consuming soda.
I'm not too upset by this single slip-up. I shall continue the water-fest.

Now I'm just sitting here, trying to think of something else to write about. Clearly I have much much much more important things to do. Just thinking about it makes my heart rate spike.
BLECH. I must s t o p.