Oh NOT another boy.

Well fuck my cock.
CC's called it off. He texts me a couple hours after I give him a handjob (first time, otherwise we'd just made out and over-the-clothes stuff) saying that he feels weird taking our "breaks" (called that cause basically each time we'd been tired from the day) without being in a relationship, and that he isn't looking for one. (Could you follow that between all the parentheses?)
Like, I don't know what my brain should do with this.
Right now, I'm just really worried that now he'll never ask to hang out or even acknowledge me if we run into each other. I really don't want to be in that whoa-awkward-lets-never-talk-again funk. He's a great guy and I'd be fine with just friends for now. I really wish we'd talked face to face so I'd get a better explanation.
I had texted back to him that I was fine with it but I thought he was a cool person so I'd like to still hang out but just like..normal. He never texted back. Fuck. Yeah so who knows how this will go.

So after that shitstorm of a text and consequent brain fuckery I had to write a 10 page paper last night. Which ended up keeping me up til.. hmm... now. Yeah, I haven't slept in 24 hours. I just got back from class, handing the paper in, where CC should've been too. But I didn't see him cause he sits somewhere in the back. Plus I didn't want to seek him out to talk after a 9am class and no sleep.

Now I'm lying in bed with the lights off, writing this entry because I know that if I try to sleep I'm just going to be thinking about him and this awkward situation.
Dude, why'd you have to text that to me?! Fuck.

This all makes me sad. I really like(d?) him. But specifically as a person, not necessarily as a crush/potential bf/whatever.
I don't know now if I should approach him (not necessarily in person) or if I should wait for him to approach me. I'll wait for now..but for how long?

Fuck.